USA 05

13 plane rides,
on 4 airlines,
between 3 countries,
to 7 states,
and 9 cities..

sleeping in 12 beds,
at 6 hotels/apartments,
and 6 friend's/family's homes..

lots and lots of alcohol,
at 17 bars (that i can remember),
equals many drunken nights,
and many hangovers..

4 flings,
2 crushes,
1 stalker,
and a few unwelcomed advances..

8 major malls,
2 big markets,
lots of shopping sprees,
and a whole suitcase of new clothes and accessories..

3 months later,
and i'm home.

its definitely been a life experience but i don't think its all going to sink in till i've been home for a bit longer. it really was sad leaving. there were a lot of things i wanted to do that i never did and places i wanted to visit that i never went to (those boring weekends i had were such a waste) and some people i was sad about leavng behind. BUT at the same time, there were so many things i DID get to do and places i DID get to see, and i made a lot of great friends. i'm so happy i did this - not a lot of people i know can say they've lived abroad for 3 months at my age.

my memories..

alisa: it would be so easy to rape us right now
elaine: no i've got my pepper spray!
alisa: please, you don't even know how to use that
elaine: i do!! *sprays*
alisa: OMG!!!
elaine: OMG!!! does it hurt?!
alisa: YES!!

alisa: he looks like he could be kinda old..
elaine: how old?
alisa: i dunno... maybe like 28ish?
elaine: shit. since when was that old?

sami: so this albert, he drove you home did he?
alisa: yes
sami: hmmm!!
michelle: sami! don't even play like that!! i will kill her if she goes out with him! girl you can do SO much better than albert!

michelle: what did you do last night?
alisa: well --
michelle: did you call him?
alisa: no i --
michelle: chicken shit
alisa: because --
michelle: chicken shit
alisa: michelle --
michelle: bok!! bok!!! bok!!
alisa: whatever

elaine: milpitas!!!!!

fransisco: you like this place?
alisa: yeh
francisco: its very chill
alisa: ...very

francisco: philosophizing
alisa: philosophizing! that's not a word!
francisco: yes it is!
alisa: its not!
francisco: what's the right word then?
alisa: philoso.... i don't know!
francisco: philosophizing then
(i was drunk, excuse the dumbassness. i now realise philosophizing is a word after all)

alisa: do you want a drink?
francisco: but we don't have any alcohol here
alisa: oh. is that what that means? i was just asking if you wanted like water or something.

alisa: then he took me to a gay bar --
dan: what?! what is a guy doing taking a chick to a gay bar?
alisa: no coz his friend was there --
dan: oh his "friend" was there was he? uh-huh. sweetie, he's gay.
alisa: he's not!
dan: did he make a move on you?
alisa: yes, see?
dan: then he's bi
alisa: no --
dan: he's bi

elaine: damn that boy
alisa: what?
elaine: damn him!
alisa: haha are you angry at him?
elaine: yes. i don't even know why. but i am.
alisa: me too don't worry

elaine: do your feet hurt?
alisa: yep. yours?
elaine: yep. *sigh*

alisa: its very... asian.. here
elaine: let's leave

elaine: c'mon san jose!! is this all you have to offer?!

elaine: where are all the decent men?!
alisa: you have a boyfriend
elaine: hey! all i'm gonna do is look! there's no harm in that! c'mon, its fun to go out and have something nice to look at! i'm not doing anything wrong!
alisa: ok you're drunk

random guy: hey mami *says something in spanish*
alisa: hey what's up
random guy: you got a man?
alisa: yep
random guy: bet he can't take care of you like i can
elaine: k let's go
random guy: yo holla at yo boy
alisa: i don't know what that means
elaine: bye

alisa: then this bitchy girl walks past and tells elaine that holding her hair back isn't going to help
michelle: oh HEYELL NAW! uh-uh!! you should've called me! i would've come down there and ripped that bitch another ass hole!

elaine: did you drink anything red last night?
alisa: no
elaine: did i?
alisa: no, why?
elaine: when i woke up this morning there was this huge red stain all the way down the side of my sweater
alisa: from what?
elaine: i have no idea!

elaine: my shoes are making this horrible squeaking sound! ... i think my heel broke last night

elaine: it makes sense doesn't it? to party on a friday? you have the whole weekend to recover!
alisa: but noooooo.. san josenians party on thursdays

eric: come on now!

elaine: come on he's gone! this is our chance!!!!!!
alisa: no! how are we gonna get out? he's downstairs!
elaine: we can hide in the restroom all night
alisa: hello?!

alisa: can you help us get rid of this guy?
bouncer: what do you want ME to do?
alisa: aren't you a bouncer?
bouncer: just tell him you're not interested
alisa: ok, thanks for all your help

*random guy says something to elaine in chinese*
elaine: sorry! not chinese!
random: oh! what are you then?
elaine: .... *sigh* okay, i'm chinese

elaine: what's your name again?
amil: amil
elaine: what?
amil: a breakfast, a lunch, amil

alisa: hey there's "cheesy". he's so cute.
elaine: but he's so sleezy and cheesy
alisa: i think that's why he's cute
elaine: hey there's "dummy"
alisa: he's not so cute anymore
elaine: yeh he just stands there with no personality. "808"'s cuter.
alisa: oh yeh he's VERY cute
elaine: .. straits has very interesting staff huh?

random guy: what's up with your girl? she got a boyfriend?
alisa: yeah sorry
random guy: pfft boyfriend, girlfriend, pfft!
alisa: just broke up with your girlfriend?
random guy: yeh 3 weeks ago
alisa: so now you're..
random guy: i'm not bitter! she was 23.. and i've just realised that all 23 year old girls are good for are having a good time with
alisa: i see
random guy: ... how old are you?
alisa: 23. see ya.

elaine: what did you tell him your name was?
alisa: alisa. what did you tell him we do here?
elaine: work
alisa: ok. i guess we're telling people the truth now.

elaine: i told him i was 33

elaine: i'm disappointed in you. i really am.

bitchy girl: next time sweetie, if you don't want to get slammed, don't stand behind the door
alisa: i was about to walk out
elaine (to me): oh she's that bitch right?

elaine: i don't think that was his girlfriend
alisa: me neither
elaine: yeh she didn't look like his type. she looked... dirty
alisa: yeh.. kinda like a prostitute
julie (walking past): i'm not even gonna ask what i just walked into. i don't wanna know.

elaine: what the hell were you doing?! talking to that african man?! you idiot!
alisa: i couldn't help it! i was trying to get away!

alisa: wanna move?
elaine: yeh
alisa: to where?
elaine: somewhere with a seat? i feel vulnerable

alisa: *gasp* who's that?
elaine: nah its just some old asian ladies
alisa: that'll be us in 50 years
elaine: omg still living at stevens creek?!
alisa: still going to santana row!?
elaine: still working for pocketmail!?! god help me! i'd rather die

alisa: *big sigh*
elaine: what's wrong? are you full, drunk, or pissed off?
alisa: all three

alisa: who was the guy we met who was here for a birthday?
elaine: amil
alisa: that was only last week?!

michelle: you guys really are poor right now huh?
alisa: why?
michelle: you know things are tight when you start buying mega jars of FOLGERS instead of going to starbucks!

alisa: that guy on the bus this morning.. he had to be a junkie
michelle: you're so jaded!!! a month ago you would've been all "that guy on the bus looked a bit disturbed.. i wonder what was wrong with him". now you're all "he's a junkie!!" poor alisa!

elaine: i don't wanna fight with him. i just want him to admit i'm right
dan: wow.. i thought asian women were a lot nicer to their men
alisa: REALLY?
dan: oh no, not you. i wasn't referring to you. you're filipino.

michelle (to baby sarah): oooh you're so cuuuute aren't you?? here, do you want auntie alisa to hold you?
alisa: no! she's too small. i might break her.
michelle: girl please. you filipino. you guys shoot these things out like its nobody's business

michelle: i don't know how i used to wear heels to work all day, THEN go out to the club in heels all night!
alisa: you were young then... :D

alisa: this bag is heavy. i don't know how i'm gonna get it up to the overhead compartment
michelle: oh they'll help you. those stewardesses help little kids out all the time :D

michelle: oh i just found another burnt part of my hair. where are my scissors?
alisa: stop!
julie: girl, forget it. let her hairdresser kill her.

alisa: omg. i booked my return flight for the wrong date
michelle: idiot
alisa: i feel like you, that time you booked the hotel on the wrong date
michelle: shut up

alisa: and then he asked me to "help him out"
michelle: oh hell no!!
elaine: exactly
michelle: kick his ass to the curb! hell no!

michelle: how are you feeling?
alisa: eh..
julie: are you sick?
alisa: a little
julie: go home
alisa: no i'm ok
julie: GO HOME. you are still contagious!
alisa: just stay away from me then
julie: oh i plan to
michelle: next thing you know julie's walking past alisa's desk spraying the lysol.. "no offence alisa!"

michelle: that fool stood there all night, using his free drink tickets ON HIMSELF and didn't buy my girl one drink!
paul: has is ever occured to you that a frugle guy might be the best kind of guy to go out with? coz he's cautious with his money.
michelle: ok but you can't be cheap on a first date! take a sista to chillis at least! i don't wanna go to no food court! that ain't attractive!

alisa: wow, these advil look like little mimi mnms!
michelle: please don't pop them like they're mnms
dan: haha then look who'll be calling who the junkie

elaine: i'm hungry. i feel like korean.
alisa: go get some
elaine: i only have $2
alisa: i've got $7 i'll lend you
elaine: what about you?
alisa: you can spot me next week
elaine: god we're so poor!

alisa: so yeh, he's cheating on his wife and he has a baby with another woman
dan: *pause* we have such deep conversations, you and i!

dan: you can't leave!
alisa: ok sure, i'll have a word with immigration
dan: tell em mr dan has spoken

alisa: he's not god. he's just a pervert with a burnt hand.
michelle: hahahahahha i HURD THAT!

alisa: i feel soooo siiiiiiiiick....
elaine: oh no!! you have to get better!!! ....... we're supposed to go clubbing tomorrow!

michelle (voicemail message): hey girl i think you tried to call the office but my ringer was still off from when you were breathing all heavy at me and stuff...

elaine: the more i look at her, the more i hate her. pffft, miss molly!

elaine: *sips her drink* shiiiiit that's strong. how's yours?
alisa: *sips her drink* shiiiiit
elaine: shiiiiiit
alisa (to waiter): can we get some more coke for our drinks please?

elaine: stupid "808"!!
alisa: argh. yeh i think i'm gonna stay away from all things hawaiian from now on.

elaine: i have so much chocolate!
alisa: well why don't you put that packet back?
elaine: NOOOOO!!! i'll go on a diet when i go back to san jose

elaine: there's probably no alcohol in here.. this "apple delight flavoured beer"
alisa: we probably should've bought the one that said "margarita". i doubt there's margarita-flavoured beer

elaine: what happened to that woman?!
alisa: who?
elaine: fajardo!

michelle: what's this club called?
alisa: impala
michelle: yeh that sounds ghetto enough. lets go!

michelle: go get our drinks. pull your shirt down, hold your money out. go.

michelle: are you thinking "thank god i'm not white" right now?

michelle: don't act like you didn't know who you were flirting with to get those smokes

elaine: so the story is, we only had 4 drinks last night?
michelle: yes, and we went to a bar, not a club. and we didn't smoke.
elaine: what would sami do if i told him we were standing on the corner smoking at 3am with all those boys?
michelle: elaine!!!! don't even play like that!